All About me in Bad Poetry

Wanted to be an artist but
I never got started.
Instead of school
I got married like a fool.

Got divorced of course but not until
had 3 sweet boys plus a mountain of bills.
Ex-spouse kept the house and both mortgages
I took what was mine and left what was his.

I soon realized what should have been apparent--
you're going to be poor when you're a single parent.
Now I'm middle-aged but I sill don't have a clue
if I ever grew up what I would want to do.
 
I'm a junk-food junky and a life-time Trekkie
partial grease-monkey and a sometimes Techie.
I like unique clothes so I may dress funky but
if you met me you wouldn't think I was punky.
 
You can bribe me with Reese cups
or a cute spaniel pup
but whatever you do
please include a mountain dew.

I'm really not insane but surely a little crazy
I'm sometimes a slob and known to be lazy.
My memory is lousy--yesterday is pretty hazy
and I'm sure I'll be late even for pushing up daisies.

I'm a reader not a leader
more a follower but a loud holler-er.
I think way too much and worry even more
try to make decisions but I'm never quite sure.

I love to write but
I'm obviously not a poet.
I'd love to see a book title
with my name below it.

When my lawn gets tall I mow it.
When I'm happy everyone knows it
but when I'm down try hard not to show it.

I detest the heat and sun
cause they ruin all my fun.
I like being cold and dark
like a vampire at heart.

I could go on forever
pretending to be clever
but I should get this blog stored
before you think I've gone overboard!

My Favorite WOW Hunter Pets PART 1

I am fascinated with the creatures of the earth.  Furry, feathered, and finned have all had a place in my home.  We have 3 gerbils, 2 cats, 1 conure, and several cockatiels.  As of yet though, I have failed to mention some of my pets that I love just as much.  My World of Warcraft pets.  I have several 85s of various classes--but I have 2 hunters.  They are my favorites.  I suppose I enjoy the imaginary world in which I can have pets that I could never keep in real life.  I can choose from a variety of colors, name them, and then take them out to help me rid Azeroth of its human male population.  Naturally, I play Horde.  Not that the human female population is safe, not with that stupid dance.

I love all my pets, and my specs are Beast Mastery as my main and I picked up survival as a dual.  I did not want it, but it was an effort to comply with the max DPS requirements along with the cookie-cutter talent tree and glyphs.  It didn't work out like I planned, I still can't get 40k dps (I topped at about 28k) but whatever I'm still the one that is paying the bill, and I think everyone being exactly the same takes the fun away and doesn't allow players to be creative or individual.  Besides, I like having my exotic pets--I picked a hunter because I wanted a pet, not to listen to someone who obviously has more free time than I do gripe about my "low" DPS.  Sorry babe, get a grip.  Yes, the fire mages and rogues outdo me--and sometimes I see the tanks topping everyone's damage.  I just don't see why WHINE when we clear everything with zero problems including the final boss and the healer has full mana the whole time and everybody has full health.  Why complain?  Save your griping for tanks that can't hold aggro, healers that are undergeared, or hunters who do that "oops sorry I didn't mean to pull all those adds!".  Complain about players who can't stay out of the slime, fire, etc, or get to the safe zone.  Don't bitch at me because I did less DPS than what YOU would like, or the last guy, or your best friend, guildie, or whatever.  The dungeon was cleared successfully, with no wipes or even close calls.  :-P  Maybe I like my bug, but I still brought my cat or wolf anyway because I was trying to be a team player.

So, enough of my griping about griping, here are some of my fave pets.  I love my Rhino.  I named him Bulldozer.  He's huge and has a face that looks like he is dumb as rocks.  I like how he stomps the ground and it feels like my desk is shaking.  It may be.  I love my Bug!  Also the Quiraj Fortitude is cool. He can web, and I like him better than spiders.  I do love the cats too--I have way too many.   The original Humar the Pride Lord, and Echayakee (don't feel like checking the spelling its almost midnight).  Also a white and purple tiger, and the NR spirit beast cat thats see-through with glowing eyes.  Hate how Blizz keeps changing things though.  If I remember right (who knows this late) he attacked you with some leap, then moonfired your rear til your pants burned.  Now he has spirit mend, which is ok, but doesn't really help much with me at about 170k HP compared to what he heals for.  I have used him in arena when I had no healer, better than nothing.

I have always hated the Northrend wolves.  Too skinny, and what's with the beak snout?  But Skoll is gorgeous so I got him.  Picked up the blue/black fox too.  I also have a thing for birds--I have a parrot and a hawk but my big one is owls.  I could have one in every color.  I mean I would.  I have the green jade ghosty one from Stonetalon, and the purple and red.  I had the all white but replaced him with the white with the bluish tint to it.  Purple is my favorite color, and at one time most of my pets were purple.  I collected all white ones for a while too.  I kept Albinodino, he's the white/purple devisaur.  He just rocks.  I also liked his abilities better before Blizz nerfed him--he did lots of DPS and was good for dung and PVP.  Now his roar decreases the healing done to target?  Wow.  That makes him more of a special purpose than all around pet.  Don't care, I kept him, I love him.  These are some of the pets Muthernature, my main and only Orc has.  When she started out you had to tame a pet, the hunter learned the pet's skill, then you abandoned the pet and taught the skill to the pet you wanted to use.  That did suck.  I'm going to go to bed, I will write about Leatherette's pets in my next post.  She's the blood Elf.  See you in the Arenas! Good night! 

My Kitty has a Shoe Fetish!

Any of you have a pet that is obsessed with your personal belongings?  Particularly, things that have your "scent" on them?  Well, my cat LOVES all things that belong to me.  When I change my clothes, where ever I throw what I was wearing (yes I throw my clothes) my cat wants to lay on it.  Even if they are socks that I've worn for 12 hours.  Her favorite all-time of any of my possessions though, are my shoes.   My cat loves my shoes.  First you should know that she thinks I'm her Mommy.  I got her as a leftover free kitten that had become a semi-stray.  My best friend told me that there had been a whole litter of kittens, born to the neighbor's cat who has not been spayed and is allowed to roam outdoors freely.  My BFF told me that these neighbors had a sign up for quite a while advertising these "free" kittens.  After the sign came down, the remaining kittens were left to fend for themselves, apparently.  My sweet little kitty was trying to eat my friend's cat's food.  Poor thing, she was skinny and covered in fleas.  But enough about her humble beginnings.  I am her "Mommy" and she adores me above all members of the household.  She follows me around, sleeps on my bed, and will sleep on me.  As a cat owner knows, there are many affectionate, loyal kitties--even though dog owners would have you believe that only dogs can truly show love.

My shoes are my cat's pillow, her mattress, and teddy bear all wrapped in one.  She sometimes rests her head on my shoe.  She sometimes covers my shoe with her entire body.  An adorable pose is when she gives the shoe a hug--wraps both her front legs around and settles in for a nap.  The most hilarious is when she sticks her nose in my shoe and goes to sleep.  I don't know how she breathes--and I'm not saying my feet stink.  Well, maybe they do, I can't say for sure, but I just don't see how she can get enough oxygen with the front half of her head in an enclosed area.  The type of foot apparel matters not--she will nap on flip-flops, sneakers, my work shoes, boots, or my 4-inch heels.  Once I saw her nap on my son's flip-flops--but I had borrowed them earlier.  At first I though she was just attracted to my leather and suede shoes, as she would go up to them and repeatedly rub her cheeks all over them, but soon realized she gave the same treatment to fabric and man-made materials. 

Today she was satisfied with my socks.  Realize that she could have dragged herself another 18 inches and sat on my lap--but after all she is a cat still endowed with a genuine feline attitude.  Later she thought the bird playground was better suited, but in my defense the bird stand is on the porch and kitties love to be on the porch.  If I decided to become eternally barefoot I'm sure she would be lost.  She hasn't always had this "shoe fetish" however it may be linked to the addition of several other pets to the household, and my snobby princess may simply be trying to assert her leadership by applying her scent to everything mine, just in case any other occupants don't remember that I belong to her.  So, all of my shoes are covered in cat hair, but, what's the difference?  When you own a cat, usually EVERYTHING is covered in cat hair.  :-)

I love my kitties but I plan to make the next few posts about our fine feathered friends!  Birds next!

When Fluffy Orange Kitty Kills

What creature has a greater hunting instinct than a cat?  A cat could kill for food, but this is not the typical motivation.  Cats love the hunt.  There are other creatures that will play with their prey, torment it, but cats are consistent with this even as adults.  We even have created a phrase for it--cat and mouse.  Another big motivation for cats is to present a gift for its favorite servant (owner).  They are proud of their work, and want you to see it.  It shows that your cat has done an excellent job defending his territory, and he wants to share it with you.  Both of my cats make kills, but this is about Simba (Fluffy Orange Kitty) for he far outshines the other feline in this category.  FOK is a huge but totally cuddly orange tabby with lots of white. He looks a lot like a Main Coon but came from the shelter.  I tried to get a better picture today, but he insisted on hiding under the bed.

If you are a cat owner who has access to land or a yard, you most likely have a much greater variety of prey than a house-bound cat would have.  Just a reminder that cats who go outside need to be prepared for it, with shots up-to-date and flea medicine if required.  I am in Florida where the flea population is great, though probably still outnumbered by roaches and mosquitoes, but my kitties are on Advantage.  I have tried several and this is the only one that works for me.  It is also commonly said that cats who are declawed should not venture outdoors as they cannot defend themselves.  I will leave that to the owner to decide if your cat is defenseless or not.  I've had cats so mean that they were the terror of the neighborhood--even the big dogs stayed away.  Meow.

Any ordinary cat has the ability to kill the normal small prey--bugs, lizards, frogs, and whatever else may happen to have the misfortune to cross their path.  I am amazed that so many lizards can still be found in my yard--Fluffy Orange Kitty must be bored of them.  Quite a few cats have the skills to kill more challenging creatures--some being sneaky and agile enough to catch even birds.  Meanwhile, other house-cats may be too out-of-shape or just not motivated enough to seek out the more difficult targets.  MY FOK (Fluffy Orange Kitty) goes beyond that. 

Sure, he kills the ordinary things.  Many lizards have met their death here.  Many frogs as well, or more precisely, many HALVES of frogs.  I'm thinking that they must taste bad, because he always leaves half behind--the back half.  That seems a shame, because I find frog legs rather tasty, yet my FOK repeatly leaves the best part behind.  I do wish he wouldn't kill the lizards and frogs as they help control the bug population and I'm pretty sure my cat is not getting all the bugs that abound here.  However, those are just the things that he finds on the porch or have wandered into the house.  The real fun is outside.

I do feel bad about the birds--I've put collars on him with bells but FOK turns into Houdini and is able to remove anything I put on, no matter what.  I think he could find his way out of a straight jacket.  I don't feel so bad about rodents--I have to admit that I had no idea there were so many creatures living outside until my cat starting killing them.  I'd commonly heard it said that rats and mice can get into sheds, attics, and even inside walls. I had lived here for 40 years and only ever seen one.  That's right--one--until Fluffy Orange Kitty opened my eyes to the truth.   I still don't know where they live--but he finds them.  He kills them.  He brings them inside the house.  He went through a phase where about 2x a week I found a dead rat under the table.  Always under the table.  Other creatures too.  A mole.  A squirrel. That last one was quite a surprise to me. It was not a baby squirrel.  It was big. He chewed on its head then I guess he realized it was too big to eat.  The mole didn't appear damaged--it was just dead.  Cats would make challenging murder suspects as they can often leave the victim dead but with no apparent signs of trauma.

Perhaps my cat understood my swears and curses about dead things on the carpet and cleaning up spilled guts, because he eventually quit bringing them in the house.  I was happy.  Then I discovered the animal graveyard.  Whoa, I just had a Stephen King flashback (big fan).  I found it in the back yard.  Apparently he was keeping a collection.  It was in the back behind some overgrown grass.  Gross.  He had killed them and then gathered them into one area.  I found (I think) several rats, a rabbit, and some large creature that I couldn't identify.  It wasn't that I couldn't ID it because it was maimed, it was not.  The creature was intact but I had no idea what it was.  No clue.  This Florida native was stumped.  I thought about taking a picture to ID it, but the thought was too morbid.  It was the size of a huge guinea pig, with brown fur tipped with gold.  The face was not long and pointy like a rat's, but more round.  It had round ears and a longish tail also covered with fur.  I did some searches and found some creatures that occur in Florida that might be it, but not sure.  It may have been an escaped exotic pet.

 Well, I don't want to make this too long and lose all your interest--if  I haven't already!  Please leave comments on your pets or my article.  I just started blogging yesterday for the first time ever though I've always enjoyed writing.  Have a purrr-fect day!

What is a Cat Really Thinking?

I am the proud--well, at least, I am the owner of two wonderful cats.  As every cat owner knows, each feline is as unique as a toddler-created ink blot. Their personalities vary from the shy, timid creatures who hide in the closet at the merest sound to those who march triumphantly about the dwelling with the full knowledge that they are THE MASTER of the domain.  Throughout my life my home has hosted the full spectrum of these personalities.  My current roommates are a medium-sized medium haired gorgeous white female and a gargantuan orange male. I christened the single white female "Crystal" and the male already had a name which I am not fond of--Simba.  However, they are frequently known by their code names, Snobby Princess and Fluffy Orange Kitty.

      They both came from broken homes, but it is almost all they have in common.  She was living on the streets, scrounging scraps from other cat's leftovers, the last of of an unwanted litter of "free kittens".  He was down on his luck, after being kicked out by his family, he found himself residing in the "homeless shelter" for the second time. I took pity on them both, being fooled by the usual "oh how cute" kitten routine of Crystal's and the assurances of the Foster parent of Simba that "he is a sweetheart once you get to know him".  What a sucker I was...

     These spies have been the culprits of many a covert mission in my household, many of which have had disastrous or expensive outcomes. They have got the good cop, bad cop routine down pat.  As you may have guessed by the name, Snobby Princess uses the familiar feline routines such as:  "I have no idea WHAT your are talking about" or "I don't need anyone" and "I could care less".  Fluffy Orange Kitty goes with the more subtle themes like "I am innocent--just look in my eyes" or "you know I love you".  Sound like anyone you know?  It's all part of the master plan.  She has been with me for a couple of years more than him, and I only got him because I though she might be lonely at home all day with no company.  That's what I get for thinking.  The disgust on her face when  he enters the room is clearly evident...I've seen that same expression on other people's faces when I enter a room.  Anyone who says cat's faces don't show emotion is wrong.  I have seen my cats smile, ask for help, feign ignorance, and many other obvious looks. 

     On the one hand is the deceivingly sweet snow-white SP who knows she is "all that" and on the other hand is the more dog-like (forgive me Simba) FOK who wants to be with a human all the time.  SP does not seek out human companionship, sniffs your hand like you rubbed it in something obscene, detests being picked up, and gives you "THE LOOK".  You know the one I mean.  FOK runs for people, jumps in a lap, talks constantly, and hogs the pillows, blankets, and as much of the bed as possible.  Don't be fooled, it's all an act.  If you see either of them, you should walk away slowly.  Running will only show fear, and bring out the hunter instinct in their little feline hearts. I have many adventures and quirks that I will write about in future blogs.  Think of this as in introduction, aka warning.  I will discuss their plots, ploys, and escapades in greater detail. I can say that FOK does serve a purpose, he has single-handedly set out to remove the rodent population.  Meanwhile, SP is content to try to set a new world record.  I'm not sure if it's longest amount of time asleep by a non-hibernating creature or simply longest amount of time a living creature has not moved, but either way she's working on it.