What is a Cat Really Thinking?

I am the proud--well, at least, I am the owner of two wonderful cats.  As every cat owner knows, each feline is as unique as a toddler-created ink blot. Their personalities vary from the shy, timid creatures who hide in the closet at the merest sound to those who march triumphantly about the dwelling with the full knowledge that they are THE MASTER of the domain.  Throughout my life my home has hosted the full spectrum of these personalities.  My current roommates are a medium-sized medium haired gorgeous white female and a gargantuan orange male. I christened the single white female "Crystal" and the male already had a name which I am not fond of--Simba.  However, they are frequently known by their code names, Snobby Princess and Fluffy Orange Kitty.

      They both came from broken homes, but it is almost all they have in common.  She was living on the streets, scrounging scraps from other cat's leftovers, the last of of an unwanted litter of "free kittens".  He was down on his luck, after being kicked out by his family, he found himself residing in the "homeless shelter" for the second time. I took pity on them both, being fooled by the usual "oh how cute" kitten routine of Crystal's and the assurances of the Foster parent of Simba that "he is a sweetheart once you get to know him".  What a sucker I was...

     These spies have been the culprits of many a covert mission in my household, many of which have had disastrous or expensive outcomes. They have got the good cop, bad cop routine down pat.  As you may have guessed by the name, Snobby Princess uses the familiar feline routines such as:  "I have no idea WHAT your are talking about" or "I don't need anyone" and "I could care less".  Fluffy Orange Kitty goes with the more subtle themes like "I am innocent--just look in my eyes" or "you know I love you".  Sound like anyone you know?  It's all part of the master plan.  She has been with me for a couple of years more than him, and I only got him because I though she might be lonely at home all day with no company.  That's what I get for thinking.  The disgust on her face when  he enters the room is clearly evident...I've seen that same expression on other people's faces when I enter a room.  Anyone who says cat's faces don't show emotion is wrong.  I have seen my cats smile, ask for help, feign ignorance, and many other obvious looks. 

     On the one hand is the deceivingly sweet snow-white SP who knows she is "all that" and on the other hand is the more dog-like (forgive me Simba) FOK who wants to be with a human all the time.  SP does not seek out human companionship, sniffs your hand like you rubbed it in something obscene, detests being picked up, and gives you "THE LOOK".  You know the one I mean.  FOK runs for people, jumps in a lap, talks constantly, and hogs the pillows, blankets, and as much of the bed as possible.  Don't be fooled, it's all an act.  If you see either of them, you should walk away slowly.  Running will only show fear, and bring out the hunter instinct in their little feline hearts. I have many adventures and quirks that I will write about in future blogs.  Think of this as in introduction, aka warning.  I will discuss their plots, ploys, and escapades in greater detail. I can say that FOK does serve a purpose, he has single-handedly set out to remove the rodent population.  Meanwhile, SP is content to try to set a new world record.  I'm not sure if it's longest amount of time asleep by a non-hibernating creature or simply longest amount of time a living creature has not moved, but either way she's working on it.